


As Heads is Tails: How an Angel and a Demon fell in love and the trail of paperwork they left behind

by QueenThayet



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bureaucracy, M/M, Outside Observer, Paperwork, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 17:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10701915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenThayet/pseuds/QueenThayet
Summary: And I Laid Traps for Troubadours (Bureaucracy Remix)





	As Heads is Tails: How an Angel and a Demon fell in love and the trail of paperwork they left behind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bookshop (Aja)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aja/gifts).
  * Inspired by [And I laid traps for troubadours](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9712874) by [Aja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aja/pseuds/Aja). 



> Many thanks to Aja for writing this amazing story that has captivated me since I first read it, and to Oceaxe for her extremely helpful beta and comments and suggestions, and to Amy for her encouragement for all of the ridiculous things I wanted to add to this.

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Oph-4-Az  
Name: Azrael  
Class: Ophalim  
Title: Angel of Death and Retribution

Although The Almighty has not fully determined what “death” is, Azrael has taken to his retribution duties with relish. He has an extremely sharp sense of justice and seems to delight in coming up with retribution that seems especially fitting to the violation. Some of the Seraphim have started calling it “irony.” He’s very dedicated, but may benefit from closer supervision. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Unassigned

Eremiel is highly energetic. He’s very excited to participate in all activities, especially praising The Almighty, but his enthusiasm is not always appreciated by the other angels. The older angels, especially, have been very disconcerted by him. He has developed a peculiar sense of humor that the Cherubim find particularly diverting, but seems to be annoying to the Virtues. We are still trying to find the best placement for him. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Oph-4-Az  
Name: Azrael  
Class: Ophalim  
Title: Angel of Death and Retribution

Termination Report: Azrael has joined in Lucifer’s rebellion against Heaven and therefore will no longer be supervised by the Dominions henceforth. Records will remain kept by the Unangelic Activities Committee for this powerful demon under a revised number: D-Oph-4-Az.

Heaven: Unangelic Activities Committee  
Monitoring Report: D-Oph-4-Az  
Name: Azrael  
Class: Ophalim (Fallen)  
Title: Angel of Death

During the war between Heaven and Hell, Azrael killed a fellow Ophalim, Hepzibah, who had remained loyal to Heaven. Both sides were horrified at his violence. We are of the opinion that his assigned role as “Angel of Death and Retribution” encouraged these unhealthy destructive tendencies. Consequently, we will not be reassigning one of Heaven’s angels to his position, to prevent their possible corruption. We have negotiated with Hell to have him continue Angel of Death duties for both sides. For balance, the angel Eremiel (A-Ish-16-Er) has been assigned to be the Ferrier and Watcher over the Abyss. 

Hell: Department of Demon Resources  
Employee Training and Re-education  
Inspection Report: 1  
Employee: Azrael  
Assignment: Angel of Death

Heaven has agreed to keep Azrael in his current position, giving him an angelic counterpart as the Ferrier. Azrael performs his job reaping souls with zeal, although he refuses to fill out his paperwork in triplicate, calling it “a waste of time”. His response to his first job inspection was highly unprofessional. He lacks respect for authority. Threats of punishment were met with laughter. Of course, his independence and disrespectfulness were largely why he was the only Ophalim to Fall and join the rebellion against Heaven, so this could have been anticipated. He has refused to wear the mandated uniform, calling it “tacky and over the top”. These violations have been entered into his official record. No further action has been taken at this time. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

Eremiel has been assigned the title Watcher over the Abyss and he will serve as the Ferrier for dead souls moving between realms. We believe this will address some of the discomfort other angels have working with him, as it is a solitary posting. Many of the Virtues and Archangels have complained about his overly personal questions, specifically regarding their individual interests and desires. We would like to encourage the existing sense of unity in the Holy Spirit, rather than Eremiel’s ideas about individuality and self-interest. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

We are concerned about the closeness that has developed between Azrael and Eremiel. They were conversant before Azrael’s Fall, and interact regularly in the course of their duties. We are concerned that Azrael may be tempting Eremiel to Fall. We recommend further monitoring and observation of their interactions. If Azrael temps Eremiel to Fall, it is unclear whether we could replace Eremiel with an Angel as Watcher over the Abyss, which would almost certainly lead to an imbalance in the distribution of souls. Consequently, Eremiel’s Fall must be averted. 

Hell: Department of Demon Resources  
Employee Training and Re-education  
Inspection Report: 9137  
Employee: Azrael  
Assignment: Angel of Death

Azrael continues to refuse to fill out his paperwork appropriately and in triplicate. He openly mocked the new cover sheet for the Total Purgatory Souls report and has failed to use it.. He continues to refuse to wear the official uniform, this time calling it “impractical and aggressively ugly”. He continues to show disrespect for authority. Additionally, he set the inspector’s pants on fire when threatened with official sanctions. These violations will be noted in his official record and he was issued an official warning. However, he continues to reap souls professionally and equitably, and due to his considerable seniority, no further action will be taken. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

Eremiel has been complaining about his working conditions. He filed an official complaint, which included a critique of Our management and supervision, a demand for greater compensation, and a revision of the official dress code. We are undecided as to our response, in that we do not wish to encourage this type of disobedience, but we do not want to push Eremiel to Fall, which would be disastrous. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

We negotiated a higher salary for Eremiel, as well as a more hands-off management approach. However he has returned with a complaint that other angels did not receive a similar pay raise. We have re-entered negotiations.

Heaven: Unangelic Activities Committee  
Monitoring Report: D-Oph-4-Az  
Name: Azrael  
Class: Ophalim (Fallen)  
Title: Angel of Death

We have received reports that Azrael has begun living a series of parallel human lives, while simultaneously serving as the Angel of Death. We are not entirely certain how he has achieved this duality, although apparently it has something to do with “Quantum States.” He is continuing to fulfill his duties as Angel of Death, and does not seem to be disturbing the balance of souls, so Our recommendation is to continue observation. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

Eremiel has continued his close association with the demon Azrael and has apparently learned the trick of living as a human while continuing to exist in his heavenly form. We still have no idea how this feat is achieved; therefore, We have no effective way to stop Azrael or Eremiel from performing it. He associates with Azrael not only in the course of their duties, but in human form as well. We are very concerned that Azrael is exerting undue influence over Eremiel. However, We believe that to attempt to forbid further association would more quickly drive Eremiel to Fall. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

Eremiel has returned another official complaint over salary and benefits, with a copy of the commensurate salary and benefits for Hell for his seniority level. We suspect that Azrael provided him with this information, although We cannot prove it. We are re-entering negotiations to avoid Eremiel choosing to Fall and leave the employ of Heaven. We cannot risk that potential imbalance. 

Heaven: Unangelic Activities Committee  
Monitoring Report: D-Oph-4-Az  
Name: Azrael  
Class: Ophalim (Fallen)  
Title: Angel of Death

Azrael has continued to cycle through human forms, frequently meeting up in human form with Eremiel. Although We remain concerned at their continued close association, it does not appear that Azrael is encouraging Eremiel to Fall. They continue to perform their official duties impartially, while maintaining an intimate relationship in human form. Currently Azrael has taken a human form called Arthur and Eremiel has taken a human form called Eames. It is unclear why an angel, or fallen angel would deign to engage in the messy activities of human reproductive. Especially when reproduction is obviously not possible. There also seems to be considerable emotional entanglement involved in the interaction of their human forms. This behavior is highly puzzling given the solitariness and independence of both Azrael and Eremiel. We will continue to observe them, both in human and divine forms. 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

Eremiel has been consorting with Azrael in human form, Eremiel in a human form called Eames, and Azrael in a human form called Arthur. We have consulted with the Unangelic Activities Committee, which is responsible for monitoring the activities of fallen angels. They have expressed concern over the extent to which Eremiel and Azrael have influenced each other. Although Eremiel’s influence over Azrael could possibly lead to Azrael to reconcile with Heaven, conversely, Azrael could lead Eremiel to fall. Eremiel has been significantly less enthusiastic in praising the Almighty and has been overheard to express doubts. Even without explicit encouragement from Azrael, We are concerned that these changes signal a potential Fall. 

Hell: Department of Demon Resources  
Official Employee Separation Record  
Employee: Azrael  
Assignment: Angel of Death

Azrael approached Satan to negotiate his release from Hell’s employ and to remain Angel of Death as a free agent. He has guaranteed Hell ten percent of the souls he reaps and has signed a non-compete clause to prevent him from re-entering the employ of Heaven. Given the numerous violations in his official record, his treatment of inspectors, and the inability of our department to level sanctions that are properly motivating, this scenario was signed off on by Satan with full approval. Azrael is no longer an employee of Hell. In his exit interview he once again called the official uniform (which he never acquiesced to wear) “hideous and entirely unprofessional.” 

Heaven: Office of Angel Resources  
Employee Record: A-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Eremiel  
Class: Ishim  
Title: Watcher over the Abyss

Termination Report: Azrael and Eremiel approached The Almighty with an offer to “buy out” Eremiel’s contract with Heaven. Not for Eremiel to Fall, but to join Azrael as a free agent. They have guaranteed Heaven 10% of the souls reaped and Eremiel has promised not to Fall. Given Our many concerns with Eremiel and his relationship with Azrael over the millennia, this solution was deemed acceptable, and highly preferable to both the Angel of Death and the Watcher over the Abyss working for Hell. Although we do not consider his activities to be a direct threat to the interests of Heaven, any monitoring will be assumed by the Unanglic Activities Committee, rather than this office. 

Heaven: Unangelic Activities Committee  
Monitoring Report: FA-Oph-4-Az, FA-Ish-16-Er  
Name: Azrael, Eremiel  
Class: Ophalim (Free Agent), Ishim (Free Agent)  
Title: Angel of Death, Watcher over the Abyss

Azrael is no longer an employee of Hell. He negotiated his freedom from Lucifer and helped Eremiel to leave Heaven. Azrael will continue in his role as Angel of Death, and Eremiel will continue as Watcher over the Abyss, and both parties will be neutral free agents, neither belonging to Heaven or Hell. Although the situation is no longer considered an imminent threat and does not require continuous monitoring, We will continue to periodically update these records.


End file.
